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October 2, 2013

Ten Things I’d Change If I Were in Charge Of the Midlife World…

My boys, when they were teenagers, used to say “If I were in charge of the world, here’s what I’d do.” It usually translated to things like:

  • Eliminate homework
  • Drink soda for breakfast
  • Never make my bed

and

  • Play video games all day without mom yelling at me to get-outside-and-get-some-fresh-air!

Well, now it’s my turn. There are so many things about this so-called midlife I embrace and celebrate. But then again, nothing’s perfect, is it? There are many others that I think need changing. And at the end of this post, please chime in with yours. After all, the truth is that we ARE in charge. We just have to let other people know it.

If I were in charge of midlife, here’s what I’d change:

Do you have the power to change things?  (Photos.com)
Do you have the power to change things?
(Photos.com)
  • Fashion. Don’t tell me I’m “too old” to wear a miniskirt if I still have legs that look good in a miniskirt. After all, I work hard for these legs. But if you think I’m buying those stilettos that I “must” wear with that miniskirt, you’re sadly mistaken. No way am I going to put on something that tortures my feet. I know better by now.
  • Ma’am. Please don’t call me “ma’am.” I know to some, it’s endearing and shows respect, but I can’t help but wince each time I hear it. It just makes me feel…old.
  • Clothing Stores. When I come in to look at those miniskirts, I’d rather you didn’t look at me like I had three heads, or ask if there is anything you can help me pick out for my daughter. (I don’t even have a daughter.) And please don’t try to flatter me into buying something by telling me it looks fabulous. I’ll only be back next week to return it when I get home and look in the mirror – and reality hits.
  • Bars/Restaurants. When I sit down and order a drink because I’m a bit early and waiting for my friend or husband to arrive, what makes you think I’m a woman on the hunt, aka a cougar? I just want to be left alone –  except by the bartender, who is ignoring me in favor of the younger man/woman he/she is busy flirting with.
  • Hair. I happen to like long hair. I’ve always liked long hair. And especially after losing all my hair when I had chemotherapy years ago, my long hair is even more important to me. So, just because I’m past 50, does that really mean I have to deny myself what I love and cut it to suit an “older woman” better?
  • Technology. This is a big one. If you grew up without knowing a language and it was suddenly thrust at you all at once, would you be able to pick it up at warp speed and be as knowledgeable as the people who grew up speaking that language? Of course not. So the next time I ask a “stupid” techie question, or don’t understand your explanation (if you’re even patient enough to give me one), please don’t look at me with disdain and contempt. I’m trying here, I really am.
  • My opinion. I swore I’d never say this, but I’ve been alive longer than you and happen to know some things. Experience is a great thing. It helps to teach you the truth of the world, even though those truths can be harsh sometimes. It also helps make you a much wiser person. So the next time I give you my opinion, take a moment to reflect on it rather than roll your eyes. You might learn something.
  • Memory. I know a lot of people think that when an older person forgets something, it’s a sign of senility. But I’m not senile. And I sometimes forget things (even you do, too). Rather than senility, forgetting is a sign that I have a lot of things my brain is trying to store, and sometimes the queue is too full, or the cracks widen and things fall into them.
  • Driving. I’m a good driver. I’ve gotten two speeding tickets but that’s when I was younger. I learned my lesson the hard way. So if you’re tailgating me in a 40-mph zone because you want to go 50, cut it out. Pass me. But when you do, don’t look at me and shake your head. I may not be clairvoyant, but I know what you’re thinking.
  • Menopause. Just because I went through it, don’t look at me like I’m all old and shriveled up. I’m still a vital and young,  and I’d like to think I haven’t lost my hipness factor, either.

Okay, your turn. Here’s the challenge. Add your gripe. Let’s get it up to 100!

 

 

 

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Comments

  1. Nancy Monson says

    October 3, 2013 at 8:03 am

    I like it! I especially hate being called “ma’am.”

    • SherylK says

      October 3, 2013 at 11:19 am

      Thanks, Nancy. The ma’am thing really sticks in my craw…there’s another saying for ya.

  2. Laura Lee Carter aka the Midlife Crisis Queen says

    October 3, 2013 at 8:48 am

    I’d change a few more substantive things like how the mainstream media ignores those in midlife, and the important new research into what we share as a generation! Or the fact that midlife has become an important rite of passage and emotional developmental stage in our lives!
    Or the ever increasing suicide rate among those in their 50s and 60s, higher than those older. Boomers are being ignored and written off as a generation….

    • SherylK says

      October 3, 2013 at 11:20 am

      Great ones – thanks, Laura Lee! Adding them to the list.

  3. Ellen Dolgen says

    October 3, 2013 at 10:43 am

    I feel like you may have interviewed me while I was sleeping one day! My list would be very similar! I hate rules about clothes – dress how you feel….I know I am midlife – but I plan on leading a BIGlife for a long time!

    • SherylK says

      October 3, 2013 at 11:20 am

      Amen, Ellen. A BIGlife is a great goal!

  4. Vera Marie Badertscher says

    October 3, 2013 at 12:29 pm

    When I am empress, children and grandchildren will be REQUIRED to ask questions (and listen to the answers) about the older generations’ life. Not only does it make us feel present and helpful, they will be so grateful that they did when they are approaching our present age.

    • SherylK says

      October 3, 2013 at 12:34 pm

      LOVE this, Vera. I’m so sorry I did not pay better attention to all the rich, wonderful stories my own grandparents regaled me with when I was too young to know better.

  5. Alexandra says

    October 3, 2013 at 6:14 pm

    I would have taught my children to have more respect for people who have reached old age. That’s what they do in Japan, if I am not mistaken. Old age is right around the corner once middle-age has arrived.

    • SherylK says

      October 4, 2013 at 3:49 pm

      Good one, Alexandra. I agree!

  6. Irene S. Levine says

    October 3, 2013 at 6:59 pm

    I’d kill the mistaken idea that anyone EVER gets too old to make friends!

    • SherylK says

      October 4, 2013 at 3:50 pm

      Oh, yes. Couldn’t agree with that more. I’m proof of that!

    • SherylK says

      October 4, 2013 at 4:01 pm

      Yes, Irene, that’s a really good and important point. I know firsthand that it is entirely possible to make friends as you get older!

  7. Kerry Dexter says

    October 4, 2013 at 7:15 am

    I’d remind people of every age to have more respect for the rhythm of the seasons — and the rhythm of days. Technology notwithstanding, we all still live in a natural word — within our bodies, in daily sunrise and sunset, and in changes in nature through the seasons. All sorts of analogies — and wisdom — to be learned from thinking about those sorts of things.

    I’d also remind people of the value of silence, and of listening.

    • SherylK says

      October 4, 2013 at 3:50 pm

      I think when we’re young we don’t notice how quickly time really does pass; thus, we don’t appreciate each day. Well said, Kerry.

  8. merr says

    October 4, 2013 at 1:42 pm

    Great post – you’re definitely on to something. I really loved this, Sheryl. Each one.

    • SherylK says

      October 4, 2013 at 4:01 pm

      Thanks, Merr. Glad we’re on the same wavelength!

  9. Roxanne says

    October 4, 2013 at 2:44 pm

    The idea that anything other than a thong = granny panties.

    • SherylK says

      October 4, 2013 at 4:01 pm

      Now, THAT is funny!

  10. Kathy @ SMART Living 365.com says

    October 4, 2013 at 2:56 pm

    Hi Sheryl….

    You left yourself wide open on this one 🙂 but you DID ask! So if I were in charge of the Midlife world I would make sure that there was good and inexpensive basic health care for all people on the planet… And yeah…I wrote my latest blog post about it if anyone’s interested!

    • SherylK says

      October 4, 2013 at 4:06 pm

      Amen, Kathy.

  11. Lisa Froman says

    October 5, 2013 at 7:22 am

    Sheryl, I loved this. My list would be a duplicate of much of yours…and everyone else who commented. LOL. And as for the ma’am thing….well, I hate being maamed. Here in the south, it happens a lot too. People think they’re being polite, but it is a knife to the gut, isn’t it? I guess there are worse things though. And polite is good, right? Here I go being a Libra….oh well. You get it.

  12. HeatherL says

    October 6, 2013 at 3:48 pm

    I totally agree.

  13. ruth pennebaker says

    October 11, 2013 at 3:26 pm

    If you’re waiting on me at a restaurant, don’t think it’s cute to call me “young lady.” It’s not only not cute — it will decrease your tip.

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What’s this so-called midlife, anyway?

It’s a time of tremendous change, growth and opportunity. A time to re-evaluate our choices, our experiences and ourselves. A time to take what we’ve accumulated up until now and put it to work.

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speaks realistically about what happens when we approach our 50’s and beyond

I think your website is GREAT!  It's hard to find an online space that speaks realistically about what happens when we approach our 50's and beyond.  Keep writing, and thanks for your support."
Sheryl Kraft
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A High School Student and Aspiring Writer from Australia Reaches Out…

I would love to hear a few things on the prospect from a first hand-perspective, and would be thrilled to learn more about it from you. Your advice is well valued and I’m very grateful to have such wise words from someone with such first hand experience.

I will be looking forward to reading more of your wonderful articles in the future!

Best wishes,

Mikayla

 
Sheryl Kraft
2017-01-17T13:37:55+00:00
I would love to hear a few things on the prospect from a first hand-perspective, and would be thrilled to learn more about it from you. Your advice is well valued and I’m very grateful to have such wise words from someone with such first hand experience. I will be looking forward to reading more of your wonderful articles in the future! Best wishes, Mikayla  
https://sherylkraft.com/testimonials/high-school-student-aspiring-writer-australia-reaches/

Due to your article, traffic and sales have been great this past week!

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On behalf of our entire organization, we'd like to thank you so much for featuring our product in last week’s Parade Magazine. Due to your article, traffic and sales have been great this past week.! We are a small business that prides ourselves on excellent product quality and customer service. We work hard to make quality products and market them effectively but then sometimes you get a gift like your article which really takes us to the next level. We will be eternally grateful to you for choosing us as one of your eye product recommendations.  
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I don't want to take up too much of your time, but I am hoping you can share some advice, tips, or guidance as I work on this, my lateral career change!

Thanks for taking the time to read this - I know you probably have much more exciting things to be doing, but just know that your work is inspiring me to continue down this writing path.

 
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I'm a young medical writer trying to get a foothold in the industry, so the portfolio you have on your website showcasing your accomplishments is something that I'm aiming to achieve. I don't want to take up too much of your time, but I am hoping you can share some advice, tips, or guidance as I work on this, my lateral career change! Thanks for taking the time to read this - I know you probably have much more exciting things to be doing, but just know that your work is inspiring me to continue down this writing path.  
https://sherylkraft.com/testimonials/im-writing-to-express-my-admiration-for-the-work-you-are-doing/
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