Sheryl Kraft

freelance health writer

Truth and Reality

If you convince yourself that something is true…does that mean it really is?

Can your thoughts alone have the power to make something real?

What are you telling yourself? (Photos.com)
What are you telling yourself?
(Photos.com)

If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it…

Does it make a sound?

I’ve been feeling a bit frustrated for a few weeks; my creative juices drying up to nothing more than a mere drop. And I’m just about parched.

Being a writer, that’s more than upsetting.

It’s led me to feel a bit philosophical trying to puzzle out my thoughts and feelings.

If I am not feeling creative or inspired…

Does it mean I’m not creative or inspiring?

So many of us manage to convince ourselves of all sorts of things. I’m fat. I’m ugly. I’m stupid. I’m unworthy. I’m a loser. I’m old. I’m worthless. I’m friendless. I’m boring. I’m neurotic.

I’m-fill-in-the-blank.

And after a while, what happens?

We become so convinced and invested in those statements that we start actually believing them.

And acting them.

We work against ourselves and work harder developing the belief that the belief becomes real.

If words and thoughts have so much power and influence, then why can’t we surround ourselves with positive affirmations, instead? Why can’t we say I’m pretty. I’m brilliant. I’m worthy. I’m as young as I feel. I’m good. I’m somebody.

????????????? 

To me, this is a frustratingly rhetorical question.

That old self-loathing of youth that you thought you left behind with acne and mean girls is still hanging around, dammit!

I think that life, especially as we get older, is about pushing through the obstacles – whether they’re real or perceived (or a combination of both). I’m beginning to realize – except for the very lucky few – that this so-called life can be really tough at times. Just this week, I had conversations with two close friends who have, through different legitimate reasons, become hopelessly despondent. I’m so sad for them. On one hand, I clearly see how easy it can be to let go and fall deep into despair. And I see how hard it can be to hold on. On the other hand, I know that we need to cling, hold on, push through and persevere.

Because when we do, something wonderful happens.

We’ll start writing/living/being/doing/enjoying again.

Buddha says this: “You, yourself, as much as anybody else in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

Thanks to my friend, Estelle, who muses on motherhood, who wisely told me I should “Write that I can’t write. Seriously.”

And that’s just what I did.

Can you relate? What do you do to break out of negative self-talk?

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Comments

  1. Chloe Jeffreys says

    Sheryl, I’ve recently received a rather interesting education on truth and reality, and I’ve discovered that one often has little to do with the other.

    What I’d say about your creative conundrum is that what you do doesn’t have anything to do with who you are. You are a creative person, Sheryl. And it sounds to me like you’re in a fallow period. All fields needs to rest between plantings or they’ll become over-worked and less-productive. Give a field a season off and next year the crop grows in more bountiful than ever.

    I’ve often wondered how some of the creative writers in the past would have coped with today’s high-consumption culture. Writers in the past had years to write, today we have hours.

    The hardest part for me when I’m in a fallow period is not judging it and beating myself over it. The garden will grow again just like it always does. You’re too creative for it not to.

    • SherylK says

      Thanks so much for your words, Chloe. They really mean a lot to me – especially this: All fields needs to rest between plantings or they’ll become over-worked and less-productive. Give a field a season off and next year the crop grows in more bountiful than ever.

  4. Helene Cohen Bludman says

    Every creative person goes through this at some point. You are not alone (not that this helps). And even though you’re struggling, look at this terrific post that you wrote. You still got game.

  5. Elin Stebbins Waldal says

    There are two things here; when I’m in a writing slump I turn to books written by writers I love, on their writing life, invariably there is something I connect with that helps replenish my well. (Great example is Dani Shapiro’s new book, Still Writing) As for negative self-talk the first step is to catch it…sometimes my negative chatter has some good points but, when it’s only about beating me up? Then it helps to get perspective and extend the same sort of patience and kindness I extend to others, with myself. Great post.

    • SherylK says

      Ellin, Thanks for your supportive words. I agree with you about reading another’s work for inspiration. I’ve lost sight of that. I’m going to take your advice.

  6. Lisa Froman says

    Ok, so I read your piece and all of the comments. It’s my job to make you laugh for a second, and before I get serious. It’s the planets, not you. I swear, my Libra sister.
    For different reasons lately I’ve been feeling all of my energy being poured outward…and my tank is running low, too. (Hence the new boots.) I believe too much of this giving or imbalance of giving dries up our creative juices. Know it is temporary…but that it is important to do things that inspire you or make you feel creative or happy. Shopping. Movies. Friends. Sitting on your arse and watching hallmark movie or Walking Dead. (Ok, that’s me.) I’ve been feeling it too…so when it comes to blogging now, I only write when I feel like I have something to share….and I give myself permission to not produce if it’s gonna cause me more angst than happiness. The world will spin without me…so in the meantime, I’ll rest. Or go and shop for boots. Hugs. It’s gonna be better soon.

    • SherylK says

      Lisa, You are the best! Such sage advice. But we Libras do have a way of knowing things, don’t we? They’re just not always apparent to us 🙂

  7. Kathy @ SMART Living 365.com says

    Hi Sheryl….I think we all go through times like you’re talking about here today at some point or another. But a BIG trick is as a teacher once told me, “If you’re going through hell….don’t stop and buy a condo!”

    Besides that I think the best advise I can offer to you OR myself is to start working on a gratitude list…and just MAKE yourself do it. Oh, and guess what? I have a 30-day gratitude challenge going on my blog with lots of tips, ideas and LINKS to other bloggers who write about gratitude. There are two posts on it so far this month (see the latest below). And if you have a post on gratitude and/or thanksgiving that would be helpful, please post the link on my site or email and I’ll check it out and include it if it fits the Challenge. ~Kathy

    • SherylK says

      A gratitude journal is always such a helpful thing – it helps you remember all the good things in life, not just the things you are unhappy about.

  8. Estelle Sobel Erasmus says

    Sheryl,
    FIrst of all I’m honored and touched that you quoted me, and I’m so happy that my words helped. I think you just let the muse take you where it needed to, and this heartfelt (important emphasis here) post is what evolved. These kinds of posts I believe are the heart of what blogging is about, and beats hands down the plethora of sponsored posts that are dragging down blogging into more of a ready-to-please soundbite.
    xo
    Estelle

  9. Cathy Chester says

    You just finished experiencing what we all do – a period of NOTHINGNESS! But boy, did you fill it up. Now it’s over! Hooray!!!!

    When we go into our writing slumps, we have to dig down deep within ourselves and have a little self-talk. What am I about? What is on my mind? What is ticking me off? What is making us sad? What is making us fearful? What is having absolutely no effect on me at all? Those questions can be addressed through our writing. Sometimes nothing comes out of what we end up writing; others end up becoming meaningful. You now qualify for the latter part. With love…

  10. Lois Alter Mark says

    We have all been there, Sheryl, and I love that you took Estelle’s advice and just wrote about it. The older I get, the more I realize it all comes down to Nike’s “Just Do It.” I think most of our obstacles really are perceived ones and if we can just ignore the story we’ve made up in our head and push past it, we can do anything. Glad you’re back. xo

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