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June 5, 2018

20 Things to Expect When You’re Expecting to Be the Groom’s Mother

Published in: mother of the groom, wedding day, Weddings

Well, it’s been quite a whirlwind.

My son Jonathan and now-wife Caroline’s wedding this past weekend seemingly snuck up on us, although the planning started a good 18 months ago. Until the date got really close, it didn’t seem like reality (at least not to me).

And then, it suddenly was.

Planning a wedding is a job in and of itself but when it’s all done, it will no doubt leave you with a lifetime of warm and fuzzy feelings and beautiful memories. Provided you also choose the most suited photographer, not too dissimilar to this wedding photography Blacksburg company as an example, for your wedding day then those beautiful memories won’t be too hard to remind yourself of. I myself didn’t have a big wedding; it wasn’t exactly my thing (that, combined with family and financial situations which would have precluded it, even if I did want it). In spite of that, I’m so thrilled that this wedding took place and am still reveling in each and every wonderful special moment of the celebration!

As the mother of the groom, my job was way different than that of the bride’s mother, who was intricately and intimately involved in each extremely minute detail. But I was thrilled to be part of so much of the prep work. First of all there was the hunt for the wedding gown. We looked at ordering online as there are so many amazing stores like https://www.winniecouture.com/ which we wouldn’t be able to get to, but in the end she wanted the experience of a real boutique where she could try them all on. It was such a touching day. Next came the bridal shower, updates on the planning progress, the night-before rehearsal dinner for out-of -town guests and the wedding party… and finally, the all important morning of preparations at my home with a makeup artist and hairstylist to make us all red-carpet-ready.

Here are some things I experienced along the way. If you are, or will be, a mother-of-the-groom, you no doubt might too:

  1. Family dinners will be dominated by weddingspeak. Sure, you might still discuss current life, but that life will be mostly trivialities (not really trivial, but compared to the wedding, they become so).
  2. People will constantly ask, “Are you stressed?” You’ll wonder why they’re asking that. What’s there to be stressed about, anyway?
  3. You’ll start to see your son differently, remembering the time you said to him, “I may be the most important woman in your life right now, but one day, your wife will take my place.” You’ll remember when he started acting like a lovely gentleman and pulling the chair out for you in restaurants and helping you on with your coat, and you’ll be pleased to see him doing that for Caroline, too.
  4. As the date of the wedding gets closer, you’ll find yourself waking at 3AM with your mind racing. Maybe you are stressed.
  5. When the week of the wedding finally gets here, not only is you sleep not what it should be, but neither is your appetite. And when you work out at the gym, you keep thinking, “I sure hope I don’t get hurt.”
  6. When people ask you, “Are you stressed?” you’ll finally admit that you might be, and wonder why you didn’t think to get some of those stress-relieving herbal remedies from https://royalcbd.com/ that your friend told you about.
  7. You’ll also begin to feel increasingly distracted and anxious and wonder why. “Oh, right,” you’ll say. “The wedding; it’s in three days.” You’ll also feel very, very grateful for your daughter-in-law and for being alive to see your son get married. Because not every mother is.
  8. You get very weepy, thinking back to the little boy who is now an almost-married man, wondering how it’s possible that the years have passed so quickly since you last read him “Goodnight Moon” and watched him navigate kindergarten, play with his legos, graduate middle school, go to the prom, apply to colleges, graduate, go to law school and get a very responsible job. You’ll realize that although he is indeed a man, complete with an almost-wife, he is still a child to you. You wonder if that will ever change.
  9. You’ll tell your son “I love you” more than you usually do – and hope that you’re not sounding too needy or desperate.
  10. The night before the wedding, your speech at the rehearsal dinner will go something like this. “Whoever said a woman should marry a man who loves his mother was right. How he treats his mother will tell you everything you need to know. You are marrying someone who will love and cherish you and treat you with respect and kindness always.” And you will grab a tissue to dab at your tears. Some people will imitate you.
  11. You’ll cry and hug some more, being careful not to smear your makeup on your son’s collar as you pull him to you tightly, thanking him for not only making you a mom, but for making you a mother-in-law, too.
  12. The morning of the wedding, you’ll get a call from your mom, telling you that she fell, and is unable to come. You’ll cry silently, mourning the fact that she is the last of your son’s grandparents and can’t be there. You’ll get another call from your sister telling you that your niece, who was in a car accident the day before, also can’t come. They will both be okay, but they will be missed.
  13. You realize once again that life is not only filled with celebrations and joys, but sacrifices and tragedies as well. But you must not let the last two get in the way of the first two.

  14. The wedding will be magical, and you’ll quickly realize what’s been keeping them so busy and focused for so long.
  15. You will dance like a 20-or-30-something, but the next morning your arthritic knees will remind you that you’re really 60-something and maybe you should have sat one or two out.
  16. Your stress will almost disappear (but your sore knees will not), replaced by elation and happiness.
  17. As you pick up your cell phone the next day to check your texts, you’ll smile and finally exhale when you see one from your son, telling you that they have safely landed halfway across the world for their honeymoon.
  18. You realize that although some things do change – that your son is now a married man, far away celebrating his honeymoon – he is, indeed, still your child.
  19. This parenting thing never ends, and for that, you are grateful.
  20. You’ll start to feel stressed again about 15 days from now, waiting to get a text that their plane has safely touched down in New York.

Scenes from a wedding

Me and my two siblings. I’m the middle child..still in the middle!
Here we come!
The happy couple
My men!
Goofing around in the photo booth
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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Irene S. Levine says

    June 6, 2018 at 11:18 am

    What a lovely post! Mazel tov again to you and your now growing family. In midlife, in many respects, the best is yet to come!

    • SherylK says

      June 6, 2018 at 12:28 pm

      Thank you, my friend. Having you and Jerry there was the icing on the (wedding) cake! xo

  2. Sarah Arndt says

    June 6, 2018 at 11:35 am

    You nailed it! As the mother of the groom twice already, I totally agreed with so many of the points you made. I, too, am so lucky my boys married girls who make them so happy and were very inclusive of me when it came to the planning of their weddings. The next adventure your son will take you on is that of being a grandparent and this ride is amazing. So much to still look forward to. Old?! Not at all!!!
    Congratulations and continue to bask in the wonderful memories you made this past weekend!!

    • SherylK says

      June 6, 2018 at 12:28 pm

      Thanks, Sarah – you definitely know from experience! And your granddaughters are the cutest…that must be beyond joyous.

  3. Lou says

    June 8, 2018 at 4:23 am

    That was such a great commentary! Truly honest and heart felt. Jonathan is lucky to have such a wonderful and caring Mom. xoxo

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A High School Student and Aspiring Writer from Australia Reaches Out…

I would love to hear a few things on the prospect from a first hand-perspective, and would be thrilled to learn more about it from you. Your advice is well valued and I’m very grateful to have such wise words from someone with such first hand experience.

I will be looking forward to reading more of your wonderful articles in the future!

Best wishes,

Mikayla

 
Sheryl Kraft
2017-01-17T13:37:55+00:00
I would love to hear a few things on the prospect from a first hand-perspective, and would be thrilled to learn more about it from you. Your advice is well valued and I’m very grateful to have such wise words from someone with such first hand experience. I will be looking forward to reading more of your wonderful articles in the future! Best wishes, Mikayla  
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Thanks for taking the time to read this - I know you probably have much more exciting things to be doing, but just know that your work is inspiring me to continue down this writing path.

 
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I'm a young medical writer trying to get a foothold in the industry, so the portfolio you have on your website showcasing your accomplishments is something that I'm aiming to achieve. I don't want to take up too much of your time, but I am hoping you can share some advice, tips, or guidance as I work on this, my lateral career change! Thanks for taking the time to read this - I know you probably have much more exciting things to be doing, but just know that your work is inspiring me to continue down this writing path.  
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