Maybe I eavesdrop because I’m a writer and I’m alone much of the day.
Credit: Photos.com
Maybe it’s because I’m naturally curious.
Or maybe it’s because it’s entertaining.
Probably a combination of all three.
Most times, what I hear is somewhat inconsequential or quickly forgotten. Occasionally there are those juicy tidbits that would make a great story that I have no time to write.
But yesterday’s conversation, overheard between two employees at my neighborhood Starbucks while waiting (interminably, I might add) for my Soy Latte, was one that took on two new meanings:
1. Infuriating
2. Head-scratching
It went like this:
Female Barista: Hey, where’s Sue been?
Male Barista: Oh, she was fired. She’s suing for AGE DISCRIMINATION, by the way.
Female: Well…she IS old.
And here’s what I said (well, not out loud, but in my head):
Hey, I give Sue a lot of credit. She was probably re-entering the workforce after many years raising her kids. I’m sure it was very tough for her to hang out all day with younger employees who are never in a rush to help the customers, but instead love to stand around and gossip about their personal lives. She might have been a bit slow, but you set the bar long before she was hired. And I’ll bet she showed up every day, on time, and even worked a double shift if she was asked to. She knows what it means to feel grateful to have a job.
Do I sound a bit…peeved?
Maybe you caught me on a so-called bad day. I try to stay away from complaining, I really do.
But lately, I’m noticing some “ageist” behaviors more and more.
1. I talk to a (younger) stranger and they just look at me with a blank stare, like “why are you talking to me?”
2. A 20-something and her friend at the gym are staring at me and finally speak up: “You’re in great shape..for someone YOUR AGE.”
3. I walk into Sephora and all bets are off that I’m getting any attention from the sales help, who are instead, sticking to the younger set like glue.
Okay, I’m done now.
Maybe hearing loss would be a remedy for my forays out into the real world (not that I’m wishing for this).
Today is a new day. And I’m going out into the (younger) world with a big smile, a better attitude and a lot more tolerance.
Because, after all, I was here FIRST.
Lou says
Just think, now we can use those annoying lines like “Age before beauty” or “Respect your Elders!” How utterly depressing…but I am loving middle age because I don’t give a flying f**k what anybody thinks of me & that’s LIBERATING!! Cheers 🙂
SherylK says
Well said, Lou!
Irene S. Levine says
It is cheaper to get into the movies:-)
SherylK says
Yes, that is one advantage…especially since movies have become so expensive!
Alexandra says
This happens to me, too. What is strange is that you can feel young but strangers do not perceive you that way. I feel for Sue. I experienced a lot of age discrimination before I decided to open a B&B and simply employ myself.
SherylK says
I agree that sometimes it’s just easier to employ yourself, if you’re fortunate enough to have a trade that you can do that with. It IS strange to think that a person who doesn’t know you is looking into your face and seeing someone/something entirely different than the person you truly are inside.
Cathy Chester says
You are so right, Sheryl. Great post about something that is a pet peeve of mine as well. I HATE when the younger people read their texts while you are talking to them. Or when I was at a small gathering and they never looked up from their cell to look at the speaker. Or, as you say, I’m in Sephora and no one pays attention to me. (Don’t I have bigger buying power than the younger women?)
This is exactly the kind of thing we should be writing about. Because we MATTER. We have VALUE. We have BUYING POWER! Let’s speak up and end ageism, because it ain’t over by a long shot!
I will climb off of my pedestal now.
SherylK says
No, I liked it when you were ON your pedestal, Cathy. You have GOOG things to say!
Deb says
I get that type of comment too frequently as well , but what puzzles me is that twentysomethings don’t seem to believe that they too will age. Its as though they think they are immune to turning 50 and that its somehow our fault we let it happen to us. One of the wonderful aspects of groups like Gen Fab is that we are surrounded with friends and colleagues who have shared the life journeys that come with a life well lived.
Laura Lee Carter aka the Midlife Crisis Queen says
Yes Deb! That will be the best revenge, when they hit forty or fifty and get treated the same way! See, there is some justice in this world!
Not to mention how much older and wiser we are… the best reward for aging!
SherylK says
True, Deb. But we didn’t think we’d age, either, when we were 20. But they’ll learn…soon enough.
Ellen Dolgen says
Unfortunately, this DOES happen a lot, but you’re right in that it’s often the older workers who are hustling to make sure they have plenty of satisfied customers – it’s just how they were taught to work. It’s a whole different ballgame, it seems, with the current generation. We ARE older, but we are wiser and absolutely invaluable – these young ins may just not realize it yet;)
SherylK says
Yes, older and absolutely wiser…how long do you suppose it’s going to take for this to catch on? Thanks for joining us here, Ellen!
ruth pennebaker says
I, too, try not to get resentful about things like this — recalling how clueless I was when I was young. But being patronized or ignored wears thin. I try to impersonate the imperiousness of two of my favorite characters from Absolutely Fabulous, Edina and Patsy. sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.
SherylK says
Ruth, I need to watch that movie again…because I don’t remember Edina or Patsy. Can you impersonate them for me the next time I see you? Please?
Living Large says
Ugh. I had an older woman standing behind me in line at the healthfood store the other day. She watches me check out, makes a comment about my total and then says to me, “I bet you didn’t ask for your senior discount, did you!?” Ugh, dear lady who is definitely older than me, I’m 49. I don’t qualify yet, but thanks for making me want to cry.
SherylK says
Well, that’s enough to ruin your day. Sorry, LL. You don’t deserve that 🙂
Vera Marie Badertscher says
The assumptions about older people are so annoying. I went to buy a technically advanced cell phone and the young man who was the salesman all but refused to show me anything but the simplest model, explaining things in such elementary terms I wanted to scream, “I’ve been using technology for decades. Would you like me to explain it to you?”
Also, my name is not “dearie”.
SherylK says
Dearie?? I’d want to smack him! Maddening.
Pat Curry says
I have been similarly ignored at Victoria’s Secret. Folks, get a clue. We’re the ones with money to spend.
Jennifer Margulis says
I believe in respecting people the older they get, learning from them, being gracious, and grateful. I hate age discrimination. It’s ridiculous. And it feels like a symptom of a larger social problem – that we do not appreciate the things and people who come before us.
Jane Boursaw says
One of mine is: “She still looks great.” In my head, the person is saying, “She’s really old, but wow, she’s still hanging in there.” Why can’t we see the beauty of people beyond their wrinkles and gray hair?
My 89-year-old mom is always commenting on her wrinkles, gray hair, gnarled hands, and I’m like, “Mom! Look at the awesome life you’ve lived! Look at all the hard work those hands have done in your life! You’re gorgeous!” I don’t know if she gets it, but I’ll keep working on it.
Nikki Tan says
Thank you for sharing this. It is cheaper to get into movies since movies have become so expensive and you’ll have discounts in malls or drug stores.