My first-born child turned 27 yesterday.
TWENTY-SEVEN. How did that happen so quickly? The details of his labor and birth – a three-plus day affair (from the Friday night my water broke to the Monday night when he finally decided to finally show up) – remain crystal clear; I can even recall the smell of birth – yet the last 27 years are sometimes tough to sort through and remember with the same sort of absolute assurance.
At any rate, the fact that he’s 27 makes me feel kind of…OLD. Not too old to still act like a kid if I feel like it. Not too old to still go to the gym and pretend to dream of competing with the 20-something young woman on the treadmill next to me, running as if there were springs hidden beneath her sneakers.
As much as I shy away from using the “age card,” I have to remember that even though I might feel 35, my birth certificate will take issue with that fact. So I’ll admit that I’m old enough to remember the days before
cell phones
and computers.
On the other hand…
I’m not too old to have welcomed all of these things into my life, albeit initially (and sometimes still) with a bit of
hesitation and intimidation, not to mention
frustration and confusion at times.
Just ask anyone who lives with me – or within earshot of me. I’m sure they’ll tell you all about the pleading, whining, stomping and teeth-gnashing I indulge in when I just can’t take it anymore.
Which is, by the way, often.
Photos.com
And this got me to thinking about how all that frustration and stress must be affecting me. I’ve come to the conclusion that, without a doubt
E-mail can be bad for your health.
I send them – lots of them. They’re time-efficient and easier than picking up the phone when your written to-do list is so cumbersome that it makes your pen run out of ink. But the so-called convenience blows up in my face when I have to hunt down the email that got ignored, re-send it, and then gnash my teeth worrying about if the other person even saw it or just decided to blow me off.
Which happens…there’s that word again – often.
I don’t think I’m alone in this e-mail stressdom. I have a sneaking suspicion we’re all suffering from it together, probably to different degrees. And as a health writer, I’m obliged to share this bit of info with you:
Chronic stress is just plain bad for you, affecting every aspect of your life and health: your appetite (stress produces cortisol, an appetite trigger), your sleep, your blood pressure, your thoughts, feelings and behavior. Too much stress can lead to feelings of depression and anxiety. It can show itself in ulcers, migraines, heart palpitations and memory impairment.
And don’t even get me started on how messages can be totally misconstrued in emails, with its monotone nature (save for the !’s, :), and other emoticons). I once had a falling out with a friend – which was probably totally unnecessary – via e-mail; our tones indistinguishable and as a result misunderstood, without the cadence of language.
Maybe you’ve received the advice I once received by a therapist: if you need closure, write down all your feelings in a letter, but don’t mail it. That advice usually did the trick of getting things off my chest without worrying about acting too impulsively and saying something I’d later regret. But that doesn’t always work with e-mail.
How many times have you – in a fit of enthusiasm, passion or excitement – hit the “send” button, only to regret it later?
How about we all agree to indulge in a little email/stress relief a few times daily?
Step away from your e-mail. Stretch, exercise, listen to relaxing music, meditate. Some experts say that certain foods can help fight stress. These include foods rich in folate and vitamins A and C (like papayas, red bell peppers, basil, arugula, sunflower seeds), and foods rich in vitamin B (like lentils, chickpeas and quinoa).
And it might help to reach out to a friend. A good friend can be a huge stress-buster.
But before you do, you might want to consider picking up the phone rather than e-mailing.
Alexandra says
I so agree with you! I used to talk to my children so much more often before email. Recently I decided to drastically cut down on Facebook and stop tweeting altogether. I have so much more time that the email does not feel as stressful.
Ronald Harris@Best Computer Deals Reviews says
Yeah also agree. my remedy for this issue is remove unnecessary emails that’s not include in my transaction and block those emails that cause spamming..
Irene S. Levine says
This is a great reminder. So many friendships are destroyed by impulsive emails. It’s nice to think of restraint as a way to build friendships.
Happy Birthday to your son, too!:-)
SherylK says
Yes, so true Irene. And thanks for the bday wishes!
ruth pennebaker says
Thanks for the reminder. I’m going to the gym to unwind and will be turning off my email.
SherylK says
The gym is a great way to get away from emails…that is, if you leave your phone home.
MyKidsEatSquid says
Good reminders to take an email siesta every once in awhile. I do a lot of computer work so I try to take breaks at least every hour. I do walking lunges in my house when I take a break and to sneak in a little exercise.
SherylK says
Walking lunges…what a nice way to take a break. I’ve recently started taking breaks using a hoola hoop.
Living Large says
I know a lot of people who get stressed over their email inbox. I try to keep up with it on a daily basis. What stresses me more than anything is social media, Facebook specifically.
SherylK says
Yes, agree with you that Facebook can be stressful.
Laura E. Kelly says
So many people I know these days say they’re “swamped” as an excuse for not answering emails or not doing something else they should do. It’s become an epidemic and I think the next phase will be people desperately trying to figure out ways to drain the swamp. Your post has some good suggestions.
Since I just learned via your post that chickpeas are a good source of vitamin B, read this beautifully written paean to the garbanzo bean, complete with a delicious-sounding recipe: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/30/dining/here-a-chickpea-there-a-chickpea.html?emc=eta1
SherylK says
Thanks for the link, Laura!
Alisa Bowman says
I often have to remind myself that I DON’T need to respond right away with email. I think that’s what stresses me out–the assumption that a response will be very fast.
SherylK says
True, but sometimes I feel like I need to respond quickly, otherwise the email will get buried and forgotten.
Roxanne @ Champion of My Heart says
A client of mine taught me a method he calls “inbox zero,” where emails get quickly sorted into folders so that my inbox isn’t always overflowing. Of course, that means at some point, I have to look in each folder, but it does lower my stress … some. Alas, I got home from a few hours away yesterday to 45 more emails. Most didn’t require a reponse, but still. It stresses me out!
SherylK says
I like the idea, but I”m afraid it’s the same outcome – emails to sort through, whichever way you hide them…no?
Jane Boursaw says
I’m addicted to email, but it’s also really stressful. Because I helm an entertainment site, I get hundreds of emails every day from publicists wanting us to write about their stuff. I have to be pretty picky about what gets written about, otherwise I’d be even more stressed.
Jennifer Margulis says
So true Sheryl. I’ve been spending WAAY too much time on email and on-line lately. It makes me depressed. I need to get outside in the sun (though there is none right now) and away from the computer. I try to do that on Saturdays, and stay off line.