Sheryl Kraft

freelance health writer

50 Things I Learned in 50-Plus Years

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In a few days, I’m turning 50-something.

Happy Birthday to Me (Photos.com)
Happy Birthday to Me
(Photos.com)

There’s no point in denying so-called aging– it’s something I wasn’t always convinced I’d be here to enjoy witness– but I can’t help getting my real age number stuck in my throat when I have to actually say it. It kind of reminds me of the time in fourth grade when I was sucking on a huge sour ball in math class and accidentally swallowed it, but couldn’t say anything to the teacher since I wasn’t supposed to be eating any candy, much less a huge sour ball…oh, never mind.

So let’s just say the birthday after this one is a BIG one that will have a big fat zero next to the first number. There. I kind of said it, right?

To celebrate my birthday, I’ll be traveling to Chicago to watch my son Jonathan run his very first marathon. You bet I’ll be screaming on the sidelines when I see him whiz past!

And I don’t care if that embarrasses him, my hubby, or my other son, who will be watching right alongside of me. In fact, I’ve gotten over a lot of things by now. That’s one great thing about aging, isn’t it? You get to shed your young skin and comfortably zip up a new and improved one.

50 Things I’ve Learned In 50-something Years

1. I don’t regret things I did when I was younger – but I do regret things I didn’t do.

2. Worrying is futile. It never changes the outcome, anyway – and most of the things we worry about don’t ever end up happening.

3. There are few things that will make you feel like throwing up than hearing the words, “You have cancer.”

4. If you ask me for my opinion, I’ll be honest. If you don’t really want to know, don’t ask.

5. But I’ll keep my opinions to myself if you don’t ask, because that’s where they belong – unless, of course, you are about to do something dangerous/stupid/reckless.

6. If I want to sing in the car, I’m gonna sing in the car. And maybe even move my body a little. I don’t care who might be looking through my window. They’re strangers, after all. They can think whatever they want to think.

7. It’s never too late to make new – and wonderful – friends. Some of my best and most enjoyable friends have been made in the last few years.

8. My friends are as precious to me as my family.

9. Good friends are one of life’s necessities, up there with watermelon and exercise.

10. I no longer believe the salesperson in the store when they tell me the outfit I’m trying on looks fabulous if I think it doesn’t. After all, their job is to sell and move the merchandise out of the store.

11. I’ll no longer stuff my feet into shoes that hurt just because the shoes are gorgeous.

12. And I’ll no longer let a shoe salesperson talk me into buying an uncomfortable pair of shoes and believe them when they say, “Oh, you have to break them in. Once the leather stretches, they’ll be like a second skin.”

13. It doesn’t pay to be superstitious.

14. I decided to get life insurance earlier than I thought I would. I’ve seen deaths occur out of nowhere so using this calculator and finding a life insurance policy can save family from financial troubles.

15. I am definitely not the center of the universe. I might have been at one time (many moons ago), but that was probably not accurate thinking.

16. I no longer take rejection so personally. Mainly because I’m not the center of the universe and it’s usually more about the other person than about me.

17. If I tell myself I can do something, I can usually do it.

18. If I convince myself I can’t do something, well then, it won ‘t get done.

19. I used to love cooking. But now, after all these years, I’m beginning to resent it. It just takes too much damn time. And time is precious.

20. Speaking up is way underrated.

21. I’ll never get to read all the books I want to read.

22. Of all the books I’ve read, I can’t remember details of probably half of them. But at least I do remember whether I’ve liked them or not.

23. I might look “old” to a 20-something, but I’m not planning to act that way to satisfy their notions.

24. It was okay for my children’s friends to call me “Mrs. Kraft” when they were younger, but now that we’re all adults, I’d much prefer them to switch over to “Sheryl.”

25. You’re never too old to learn. It’s when you stop learning that you start to grow old.

26.. I miss my grandmother every day. I’m glad I have that big chunky charm bracelet and that special lamp of hers.

27. I also miss my father every day. And I’ll probably never stop.

28. I desperately miss all of the people who meant something to me in my life, including my two best friends who died way too young.

29. Sometimes it’s okay to break promises if no one gets hurt.

30. Never say never. I swore I wouldn’t go to my big high school reunion. And I broke that promise to myself – and was so pleasantly surprised.

31. You can get over sadness even if you think you never will. While it never disappears, it dissipates with time.

32. Life is too short to put up with a bad massage.

33. Even though I might think I’m right, it doesn’t mean I always am.

34. Everybody is entitled to their opinion. I don’t have to agree with it, nor pretend I do. But their opinion belongs to them and it’s not up to me to judge.

35. It is possible to love your children more than as much as life itself.

36. Earning an advanced degree at age 50 feels way better than earning one right out of college.

37. If I don’t like the food I’m eating in a restaurant, I’m going to tell the waiter/waitress the truth when he/she asks, “How is everything?” without fearing that they’ll spit in my food.

38. Exercise is an excellent way to manage stress and stay off things like Xanax and alcohol. I like to think of it as preventive medicine.

39. A sore knee/shoulder/wrist doesn’t have to mean giving up exercise; it just means doing it differently.

40. No many how many weights I lift, there is no way I will ever have Michelle Obama’s arms. In fact, I’ll probably injure myself instead.

41. It’s also okay to wear earplugs when you’re at a concert/wedding/bar or bat mitzvah/in spin class with ear-splitting music.

42. Leaving a show or movie early because you don’t like it is not going to hurt anyone’s feelings.

43. Saying no or “Sorry, I’m too busy” is okay.

44. It’s okay to ask someone to speak up or slow down if you can’t understand what they’re saying.

45. I don’t have to convince myself to love my wrinkles and lines just because I’ve “earned” them.

46. If my legs can rock a miniskirt, then I’m wearing one.

47. It’s okay to eat dessert first – and only.

48. It’s okay to take a nap in the middle of the day if you’re tired.

49. I can learn a lot about life from my own children.

50. I am truly privileged to be growing old…I think of it as being able to renew my lease on this Earth.

 

 

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Comments

  1. Barbara Coleman says

    I love lists! Couldn’t argue with anyone of these! For me aging has robbed me of some of the physical flexibility I used to enjoy, but provided me with a tremendous amount of flexibility in the way I think about things! Great List!!!

    • SherylK says

      Yes, Barbara, me too. Physical flexibility has diminished (hate to admit that!) but mental flexibility has increased (yay!)

  10. Lisa Froman says

    Did I miss your birthday? What day is it, my Libra friend. I hope you have a great day…I know you’ll make it FABULOUS. Mine is Monday….and I’m feeling a little weird about this one. Enjoyed your blog list…so much to be grateful for and so much more to learn. Here’s to another list of 50!

    • SherylK says

      No, you didn’t miss it, Lisa; it’s the 12th. Thanks for your wishes – and happy birthday to you, a few days later! Libras sure do have a way of connecting, don’t they?

  13. Cathy Chester says

    51. I love this list.

    52. I love our friendship (although I wish we could actually SEE each other!)

    53. I adore you as a person, as an advocate for breast cancer and as a role model for how women should be by adoring their lives right now; in the moment.

    54. Thank you for being a friend.

    55. (Which is what I will be in February!) Happy Birthday, Sheryl!

  17. Alexandra says

    I enjoyed this list. Hope you have a fun birthday in Chicago. I actually enjoyed turning 50. We drove to Florence, Italy, from Paris, where we lived. My 50s were great, too. I wasn’t as pleased to be turning 60, but 65 was welcome because I was eligible for Medicare. Except for that, the sixties are so-so but 50 is an age that is really wonderful.

    • SherylK says

      Glad you enjoyed it, Alexandra. And how nice to know you think I’m only 50…when in reality 60 is right around the corner. Sounds like you had a wonderful and exciting decade in your 50s!

  18. Marcia says

    Great, fun list, Sheryl! I think I agree with you on all of them except the cooking one — I still find it a wonderful form of relaxation and sharing with friends. Of course, my husband does most of the cooking, so I don’t have to ever cook if I don’t want to! Cheers to turning 50-something! I’m right behind you — and following all your wonderful advice.

  20. Rosalba Gordon says

    Beautiful and so well written list! I agree wiht you 99.99% but, I love my wrinkles and lines, they tell my story, my happy and sad days, they remind me that I’m more that a cute face.

  21. Anne Strauss says

    Hi Sheryl!

    I loved this column. Enjoy your birthday and the year ahead. As one who has preceded you on that _0 milestone, my experience is that I’m not going to get over not being able to refer to myself as middle aged anymore. But there can be many good things in the years to come.

    All the best,

    Anne

  22. Kathy @ SMART Living 365.com says

    Whoo Hoo! Happy Fifty Something! And aren’t lists like this fun?….I did for the 36 years I’ve been married and lots of people enjoyed reading it…the ONLY thing missing are some photos….that’s something most of the commenters on my post said they liked the very best…. so com’on…share the photos!!!! And I know your birthday will be spectacular!!! ~Kathy

  23. Kerry says

    happy birthday, Sheryl! and all the best to your son on running his first marathon — that’s an accomplishment too.
    as for not remembering all the books you’ve read — and for me, as a musician it applies to music as well — what I’ve come to think is that while I may not remember all the details, whatever I needed to learn from them is still there.

    a fine list altogether — I agree with most, although I still like to cook.

    • SherylK says

      Thank you, Kerry! As it turns out, Jonathan nailed the marathon – it was so exciting. I can’t imagine running for that many hours! And thanks for your input re. music…you’re right. I think it all builds your overall knowledge, even if you can’t remember details.

  25. Sarah Arndt says

    Hi Sheryl,
    I know I have read this before and thought I commented on it. Guess I didn’t. Really love this list and love to re-read it every so often. You hit so many things right on target. I hit the BIG one this month and reading this again makes such sense. Hoping to see you this summer and we will all celebrate entering this next decade together!!

    • SherylK says

      Thanks for coming back to this and commenting, Sarah. It’s always nice to see your name pop up. Hope your BIG one was wonderful. Yes to the summer! I always look forward to it, you know. xoxo

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