It wasn’t always like this.
The seasons would be separated into winter and summer. Winter meant black and brown. Summer meant white and tan. Life was fairly simple.
And there were just a few handbags in my closet.
But then, one day, that all changed.
I began to look at handbags with a different eye. They suddenly changed from boring necessities to exciting accessories. I drooled over the Hermes, coveted the Pradas, dreamed of the Chanels and lusted after the Chloes. I look at the Lingsense website in awe of the Louis Vuitton purses. The handles, the zippers, the shapes and curves – they all intrigued me. Feel the leather on this one! And did you notice the workmanship on that one!? There were hobos, satchels, backpacks, totes and messengers – and they all had me in their clutches.
Before too long, my closet grew too small for my collection. Although I had to forsake the bags whose prices climbed into the stratosphere, if you do the math it’s easy to see how buying a lot of pocketbooks – even those non-designer ones – can be a rather expensive undertaking. My husband grew impatient at my need to indulge. And eventually, even my patience began to wear thin.
For one thing, it’s a huge pain to change over to another purse. Invariably, some contents get left behind and the next thing I know, my checkbook is gone and I can’t remember where I last saw it…and I’m frantically calling the bank for new checks. But then again, it does have it’s advantages, I guess, like the time I needed to go to the bank because I had one dollar in my wallet and discovered a $20 bill when I changed over to a different bag.
But really; how many bags does one woman need?
I have actually have begun to hate my bags. My collection simply overwhelms me. Not only has the inside of my bag begun to look like the inside of my junk drawer… but it also resembles a vast wasteland.
I’ve decided that bags are only an excuse for collecting stuff. Especially big bags (which I favor, but my back and shoulders don’t). It’s too easy to throw anything and everything into them.
Just a few discoveries I’ve made along the way:
- Balled-up tissues (rather embarrassing when someone asks you for a tissue and you hand them a used one)
- Paper clips (you never know when you’ll need one)
- Cookie crumbs (somehow they found a way in)
- Already-chewed gum (probably got separated from the balled-up tissue)
- Dust bunnies (I’m stumped with this one)
- Advils (usually found when I need one for a splitting headache; but who knows how long it’s been in there and if I might get poisoned?)
- TicTacs (they used to be white…)
- Leaky ballpoint pens (the worst)
- Old receipts (do I really need to be reminded of past purchases?)
- An old cracked compact whose remaining powder has turned to dust (do they even call them “compacts”anymore?)
- Old, bent tampons (even though I’m thoroughly done with that and have been for five years)
- An empty bottle of Purell with a loose cap (uh oh)
Here’s my plea. Please tell me there’s ONE bag out there that will make me happy. I don’t really ask for much. All I need is a purse that is:
- The right size to hold everything, but not so big that people ask me where I’m headed for vacation.
- The right color that will match everything, be it 90 degrees or below zero.
- The right style so I can go from the gym to a black tie dinner without worrying that I’ll feel bad about my purse.
- The right shape so that things don’t fall into a black hole, leaving me frantically searching for my car keys, convinced I’ll need to call a Locksmith Caulfield or similar to get me into my car, or worse, find a common criminal to break into my car for me.
- Small enough to carry without threat to my posture but large enough to hold everything in the event of a natural disaster.
Not possible?
Then I may just have to continue to live as a Bag Lady. At least, a little while longer.
Psst! If you enjoyed reading this, you might also enjoy a few others:
http://mysocalledmidlife.net/saying-goodbye-to-all-that/
http://mysocalledmidlife.net/shopping-for-shoes-used-to-be-fun/
Brette says
I have the worst time finding the right one also. It has to have a pocket for my cell phone and a pocket for keys. It needs a small zipper compartment for my small items. It can’t be a black hole. It has to fit over my shoulder. I have been using my current bag for almost a year and it is showing signs of wear and tear. It’s time to look for a new one but I don’t know if I have the strength. It’s also time for a new wallet, but don’t even get me started on my requirements for that…
SherylK says
It’s so complicated, isn’t it, Brette? And wallets, yes…same issues. I haven’t had the courage to look for a new one in years.
Lisa Froman says
Hmmm, my fellow Libran…I have the same addiction. All I can say is….never drink chocolate martinis in Las Vegas and go shopping at the Christian Dior boutique. Especially when you can’t afford it. LOL.
Thankfully, I’ve learned my lesson. And I’ll be using that bag for the next 20 years–in style or not.
SherylK says
Ha! I am quite sure you will make that bag pay off. Actually, using a bag for 20 years is rather comforting at this point. Guess you’d better stay away from chocolate martinis for a while 🙂
Irene S. Levine says
My number one criterion for choosing a bag is weight—that’s why I tend to avoid leather. If the bag starts out heavy before you stuff it with stuff…
Nuf said!
SherylK says
True, Irene~ and good thing to think about the next time I buy (another??) bag!
Rosalba Gordon says
Luckily I don’t have that problem! I have a good friend that is a “Bag Lady” and I get the bags that she don’t use anymore. Beautiful and almost new bags all the styles and colors. When I have too many I pass it to somebody else and everybody is happy!
SherylK says
You are so lucky, Rosalba. Not only do you have to worry about buying too much…you can sit back and let someone else buy for you!
Beverly Diehl says
I now stick with one tan bag year round. It’s a little too small, and a bit overstuffed, but I have found that no matter what size my bag is, I WILL fill it. So, better one that is somewhat undersized and overflowing, than one that breaks my back.
Once in a blue moon (didn’t we have one of those recently?) I will switch out purses, but yes, I find all the goodies you do, and then some. Makes for disincentive to do it too often.
SherylK says
One tan bag sounds oh-so-good to me right about now, Beverly. It sure would make my life a lot easier.
Thanks for your feedback!
Phoebe Wulliman Graber says
For me I always return to the original Ameribag Health Backpack! I have both a small and medium in black. Every once in awhile I eye another bag and think maybe that’s the one I’ll love even better…but that has yet to happen! I’ve told my daughter (and my husband) to remind me now when I’m browsing for a bag (in a store or online or magazine) that I won’t be satisfied unless it’s an Ameribag. Ameribag comes in different styles and colors. I’ve tried one or two of their other styles, but don’t like them either. It’s gotta be the original!
SherylK says
Thanks for the recommendation, Phoebe!~
Vera Marie Badertscher says
Here’s my rationale. I used to have a multitude of shoes in my wardrobe. My feet went all kaflooey and I can only wear boring walking shoes now. So I have to have SOMETHING that is fun–hence a new bag for every outfit.
Rationale #2: The manufacturers will NEVER make a perfect bag. They’re hiding the secret, because if they did–we wouldn’t have to keep buying new ones in the perpetual search.
SherylK says
I love your attitude (and rationale!), Vera. In the absence of being able to indulge in shoes, bags are a great stand-in.
And re. the second rationale – I wish someone would give up that secret they’re hiding!
merr says
My husband calls my bag the black hole! That aside, I am one who has tended to stick with one purse for multiple years. I’m not a big switcher. I love to find that one special bag and use it up!
Also, I grew up in NY calling handbags “pocketbooks” (pock-a-books – haha!), but here in CA the term is “purse.” It took some getting used to.
SherylK says
The black hole…yes, I know that well. It’s amazing how things can become quickly buried in the “wrong” bag, and it’s usually something you really need (like your keys!)
I, too, call bags “pocketbooks”- although I switched it up, here, knowing not everyone refers to them by that name. (Too old-fashioned or a sign of geographic divide?)
Jane Boursaw says
I recently cried Uncle and just bought the biggest bag I could find. Of course, now I’m forever trying to find anything in there.
I love those Bagellini type bags that have a place for everything and a nice big cross-body strap. Hmmm… now I’m coveting a new one of those! i have a couple but they’re on the smallish side.
Jennifer Margulis says
I just have one tiny purse. I would like a larger one for travel that looks more sophisticated than the cloth bag I use now! Send me one of yours?!
SherylK says
Oh, I’m (kinda) jealous. It sure un-complicates one part of your life to have just one bag, doesn’t it, Jennifer?
Belle Wong says
I have a thing for handbags, too. And shoes! I have to be so careful when I go shopping, because I’ve discovered you really can have too many bags (and too many shoes). And really, the hassle of switching from one bag to another always puts me off, since I’m usually running late for things. So I end up using the same bag all the time; it’s like my pretty little collection is for display purposes only!
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