What’s Fear Got to Do With It?
Strangely enough, I’ve been blogging for a pretty long time – almost five years – yet have dragged my feet getting my OWN blog off the ground. It’s been a long time in the making. Why? Not sure… but I have a theory: FEAR.
What a formidable emotion fear is. It’s powerful enough to silence us, make us hide, procrastinate, make excuses (oh, do I have lots of those!), become practically… comatose.
But here I (finally) am, introducing you to my new blog. I’ve gone head-to-head with fear before, and dammit, I’m gonna do it again.
And I force myself to ask WHAT IS THE WORST THING THAT CAN HAPPEN?
You know what? It’s usually not that bad.
Because, after all, don’t we all have this in common, this fear factor? But I think in the end, fear is really what motivates us to act. It pushes us to do something, anything, to get away from its vise-like grip. Because to stay stuck in a state of fear…just sucks.
I’d like to think that now that I’m of a certain age, I’ve been able to eliminate fear from my life. But I realize that’s not entirely possible. There will always be fear – no matter how old we get. Old fears may go, but new ones take their place. What age has done is give me better ammunition to battle my fears. I’ve hopefully learned some things along the way to combat it faster, quicker, better.
And if I don’t try, well then, I don’t get to find out WHAT EXACTLY IS THE BEST THING THAT CAN HAPPEN?
(Is it possible that I’m finally becoming a glass-full kinda gal?)
So, now that you’ve stopped by, that’s one worst-case scenario solved. (One of my biggest fears was that no one would read my blog, kinda like suppose-they-gave-a-party-and-no-one-came.)
And now, you’re HERE! Thanks for stopping by.
So…tell me anything. What are you afraid of? Have you overcome a huge fear? Or if you don’t want to talk about fear, tell me this: what do you want to talk about? What would you like to see written/discussed/opined/dismantled in my so-called midlife?
Maybe together, we can figure it all out.
Erica Mueller says
I can’t wait to see how it all goes. I know your regular readers from your other sites will come here, but I suspect you’ll make plenty of new friends too!
Thanks so much, Erica. It’s always exciting to launch a new project!
ruth pennebaker says
After I was diagnosed with breast cancer several years ago, I became obsessed by my fear of recurrence, metastasis and death. Fear was the great unmentionable in the doctor’s office and in support groups — always there, never talked about. More than anything, yoga helped me cope with my fears — by taking the attitude of surrendering to it and letting it do its worst.
Erica Mueller says
I love the idea of surrendering, and letting fear have its way. This resonates so well with a talk I heard Brene Brown give, on being vulnerable. We have to allow ourselves to hurt, open ourselves up to fear, rejection, and disappointment. If we don’t, we become guarded, building walls that are hard to break down. We become cold. She argues that truly happy and successful people are vulnerable.
Great thought, Erica. Thanks for sharing. We are all alike in that we are all vulnerable. Some might be more willing to admit to it than others.
Ruth, I can so relate to what you’re saying. That fear can be absolutely paralyzing. Glad you found a way to deal with it. I think it abates a bit each year, but it’s always there, isn’t it?
What a lovely site for your blog. I love the retro feel of it and the colors.
Thanks, Heather. Thanks to the 2 very talented gals that helped me design the blog – Erica Mueller and Kristen Madar!
Brette Sember says
Congrats on launching your blog! Health concerns are a big fear for me. They always catch me off guard somehow. Sometimes I feel apprehensive about the changes that are headed my way, such as the empty nest.
Thanks, Brette. Health concerns, yes. They are always there. I think we have to realize that we can control our health to a degree by taking preventive measures, which I’ll be writing about in the future. Empty nest – that’s another popular topic/fear. But I have found it’s not as scary as I anticipated.
This is great! Looking forward to reading this blog on a regular basis. “Growing older and feeling fabulous,” yes, for fifteen years, since I hit 50. My fear is that the next 15 won’t be so easy. I hope you will discuss issues that affect women 65 and over, too.
Thanks, Alexandra. What types of issues would you like to see discussed here for women 65 and over?
Congratulations on facing your fears, Sheryl! Best of luck with the new blog.
And isn’t anxiety (fear) also a symptom of perimenopause and menopause? So we can blame it on the whole midlife thing…
I agree with Brette, the empty nest and health concerns are my two two biggest fear triggers. I just turned 50 and while I don’t feel, or look my age, I seem to be hearing about more and more friends being diagnosed with health problems. I’m supposed to get a routine physical soon and I’m anxious about that (although I have no reason to be and have never been anxious before), I also like Ruth’s suggestion of yoga and have heard that from others.
Good to hear that others have anxieties too. Look forward to reading your blog. I’m sure it will be as wonderful as your many health articles.
Linda – Thanks for your comment. It resonates with me so much, especially your first sentence. I wrote about anxiety and menopause on one of my other blogs – maybe you’d be interested in taking a look: http://www.healthywomen.org/content/blog-entry/menopause-and-anxiety-whats-connection
Thanks for the link to your great article and for validating my concerns that these irrational periods of anxiety are something that many women encounter in midlife!
Always happy to help, Linda!
April Harris says
This post really resonated with me. I think we all know fear pretty well, and how we handle it can change our lives, so it is good talk / write about it openly! Your blog looks great; I look forward to reading more!
Hi April, Yes, handling fear is something we all deal with. Wouldn’t it be nice if we were all equipped to deal with it in the perfect way? It’s a process, I think. But a start that talking and writing about it openly is a great first step.
I love your site and am so excited to watch it unfold. Congrats to you, Sheryl. Great title, great design!
Thanks, Merr. I appreciate your feedback, of course!
Kerry Dexter says
conratulations on starting your own blog. I’ve enjoyed your writing elsewhere and look forward to reading it here.
not sure if this is something you’d be into discussing, but I’d be interested in hearing about ways faith and fear interact at midlife. living through uncertain times with health, family, and vocation has caused changing views on matters of faith for me, and I wonder how it goes for others.
Thanks, Kerry. I’m glad I finally started this – it’s a project that was in my mind for so very long.
You pose a very good question about faith and fear. Perhaps you’d care to guest post on my blog about your experiences?
So nice that you will have a place of your own so we can visit and read all your wonderful essays and health pieces in one place. You are one of my favorite writers~
Jennifer Margulis says
Sheryl! I’ve been a huge fan of your writing for about as long as you’ve been blogging!! And I’m so excited to see that you have your own website now. Plus, I love it.
No fear necessary, girl. The GLASS IS FULL.
And you are the real deal — smart, funny, well-informed, gorgeous.
Hugs and love and I look forward to coming back lots and lots!
Wow, Jennifer, your enthusiasm and praise warms my heart! Thanks so much for your kind words.
My favorite saying is that the true indicator of the future is the past, so knowing that you have been extremely successful in every aspect of your life up to now, I have NO DOUBT that this blog is going to be fantastic!! I am looking forward to seeing it unfold…
I for one, am extremely interested in tips to get rid of my Middle Age SPREAD!! I refuse to go down without a fight, but I so enjoy my cocktails and don’t want to give them up. Any advice for those of us always thirsty???
Love tons and tons,
Thanks for your lovely note, Thel. I’m happy you’ll be here to see the blog unfold, and hope to be able to help your thirsty self find some answers!
Congrats on your wonderful site! You’re an inspiration and I look forward to reading lots of your blogs. I like Ruth’s words about finding yoga and surrendering. I think when we stop resisting, we can then take back our true power and deal with whatever the universe gives us. Again, congrats Sheryl!
Vera Marie Badertscher says
It is so exciting to be here at the beginning of your terrific new journey. I loved turning 50–that’s when I started my freelance writing career (3rd or 4th career–but who’s counting?). Then in my 60’s I started a blog. So see, you’ve got me beat already with starting your blog at a youthful 50.
I’m really looking forward to reading your wonderful, informative articles.
Congrats on your blog. I can’t wait to read more.
Nina Knox says
Hi Sheryl, So nice to meet you. Fear holds a lot of us back, but have you noticed that after turning 50, a lot of that fear feeling has left? The fear of what people may think, will they like me, am I good enough, what if I don’t say the right thing! All that is slowly disappearing and it’s a feeling of freedom! Who cares anyway? Just be the authentic you that you are!
Donna Leftwich Hull says
Congratulations, Sheryl, on facing your fear to produce this blog. I think overcoming fear is an exhilarating feeling. I started my 50’s with plenty of fear about some life changes that I was making. It turned out to be my best decade ever. And, so far, my 60’s are headed in a good direction, too. I think good health is the key, without it, we can’t accomplish much. I’m looking forward to visiting here on a regular basis.
sarah henry says
Woot! Glad to see you’re up and running on your own. Awesome.