Sheryl Kraft

freelance health writer

What Midlife Crisis?

Aargh! My Life’s a Living fill-in-the-blank!! (Photos.com)

 

Why do these two words have to go together? The term is even in the dictionary:

“A period of emotional turmoil in middle age…characterized especially by a strong desire for change.”

It’s hard for me to believe that 78 million of us (that’s how many people were born during the post-World War II  baby boom) are making changes in our lives…because of CRISIS.

Really?

Change,  yes. I’d like to think we’re always changing and growing. Change is good. It gets us to a better place. So is desire; it propels us forward to make those changes.

But why turmoil – does change have to be fueled by turmoil? Or, does this word apply to change only when it occurs during midlife?

There have been crises in my life. Breast cancer at 34 – that’s a crisis. On a smaller scale, a knock-down drag-out ugly argument with a sibling that results in estrangement…that’s another kind of crisis. I’m sure you all have your own to add; illness, death, foreclosure, bankruptcy, sick children…the list is as varied as it is endless.

I know lots of people who have made changes around midlife. And why not? It’s a time of reflection, know-how, confidence and conviction. Our past experiences have paved the way for us to better read our inner compass and head in the right – or a different – direction. What clarity eyesight might have diminished is more than made up for with life experience.

Fear takes a backseat to desire, knowing it’s now or never.

So, Webster’s Dictionary: it’s time to update your book. How about Midlife Change. Or Midlife Modification, Transformation, Revision.

Get rid of the word “Crisis” and perhaps those of us traveling through this so-called midlife won’t feel conflict, anxiety or sadness about growing older.

How about you – have you made changes in midlife? Or are you contemplating any that might not have occurred to you or have been possible before?

 

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Comments

  1. Midlife Jobhunter says

    I share your desire to make midlife comforting, calm and happy. Life for me changed as my children were growing up and I had more time to discover my desires, thoughts, ambitions. But my leisurely jaunt came to an abrupt end. Crisis forced the issue — employment complications, parent illnesses, growing college costs — and sent it in another direction completely. All this time I thought I had to embrace my new life didn’t quite materialize. I continue to seek the solace. I wish I were better at movement not based on a forced changed before me.

    • SherylK says

      Thanks for your thoughts. And so sorry these changes were forced upon you. That’s tough, I know. I hope you are able to find the solace you seek. We certainly do face a lot of obstacles as things get more complicated.

  4. Alexandra says

    Divorce. In my case, I lived in France and wanted to return to the USA. My ex husband did not. That was the easy part. Since we have children together, and he still refuses to talk to me, the ramifications have lasted quite a while. Not a crisis, but certainly change. Fortunately, I embraced it.

  5. Casey says

    As I approach midlife (inching ever closer), I’m looking forward to seeing how my professional freelance life evolves. I’ve constantly felt conflict and anxiety about my role in the corporate world, but I’m starting to feel more confident about my strengths and expertise – now I really feel like I have something to share!

    • SherylK says

      Casey, Loved reading what you had to say about feeling more confident about your strengths and expertise. That is the most empowering feeling, don’t you think? And it gives us freedom from the nagging doubts that can drag us down.

  10. Paula @ Simply Sandwich says

    So glad I found your blog! I am right there with you and my challenge (not crisis) is being a member of the Sandwich Generation. I think the only way we can make sure our difficulties are not turmoil is to stay positive along the journey. Looking forward to reading more! 🙂

    • SherylK says

      thanks for finding me, Paula. I agree it’s really tough being in the Sandwich Generation – but you sound as if you are handling it with grace!

  12. Kris @ Attainable Sustainable says

    As I get very near midlife myself I find myself having to redefine myself. I’m no longer focused on mothering as I have been for the past 20 years, and can again think about what brings me joy. It’s an adjustment, yes, but crisis? I don’t think so.

  13. Living Large says

    I don’t like the word crisis either. I think there are certain challenges no matter what time of life we’re in. It’s a journey, not a destination and there will always be the smooth patches and the rough spots as well.

  14. Alisa Bowman says

    I feel like mid life has been accompanied by a need to make my life count for something. Earlier in life, I was mostly just career focused–trying to become *important.* Now I want to help others, give back, be more loving. I wouldn’t call it a crisis. If anything, I’m happier than ever.

  17. Amy Turner says

    Your post is very empowering and inspires me a good deal. Illness, death, sour relationships–I can relate to all the bitter sweet experiences in this earthly life. I had to face all the challenges bestowed on me. Positive outlook. This is what keeps me going, when there are times I feel like giving up. We can’t surrender to defeat, just keep on holding to hope and faith.

    • SherylK says

      Thanks for visiting, Amy! I think surrendering to defeat is easy…it is the perseverance and standing up every time a challenge tries to knock you down that is tough..but worthwhile.

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