Yesterday at the gym while stretching post-workout, I overheard two women talking about Bruce Jenner’s recent announcement that he was transitioning into a woman. (I wasn’t exactly eavesdropping; if you saw the small area devoted to stretching, you’d understand why it isn’t easy to ignore nearby conversations.)
“Why do you think he waited so long to come out with that?” asked one. (I had often wondered that myself, but was pretty sure I understood the possible answer.)
I was already getting annoyed.
She lifted one leg effortlessly into a yoga-like pose, adjusted her stance slightly, then continued.
“I mean, he’s old! He’s in his sixties, at least! Why even bother to live your life over at that point?”
Now I was really annoyed.
“Well,” answered the other, adjusting her posture as she bent down to lay her palms flat onto the floor. “It’s obvious he’s going through some sort of midlife crisis.”
I had to remind myself to breathe and hold myself back from hurling obscenities her way.
I’ve heard people call Bruce Jenner’s announcement a publicity stunt. I’ve heard some say that he’s doing it just for the money. I’ve seen them roll their eyes. And then again, I’ve turned a deaf ear to the ones who like to ramble on judgmentally and equally without sympathy about the insanity of it all.
Everyone seems to have an opinion. And they’re entitled to it.
I don’t usually get involved in politically-charged conversations, especially with perfect strangers. Come to think of it, I don’t like heated discussions even with close friends and family. Call me meek, but I’m happy to call it a typical Libra trait: non-confrontational; valuing fairness and justice above most things; steering clear of conflict or argument.
But I really had to fight to keep my mouth shut when I heard that midlife crisis comment. Oh, and that other one about 60 being “old” and too late to make changes.
First, Midlife Crisis. It’s not a crisis. Rather, it’s a time when we are able to reevaluate our choices in life and realize that there is time to change those choices; turn things around; learn from the past and step forward with renewed wisdom and vigor – and confidence. I like to call it Midlife Opportunity. In fact, when I started my other blog, MidlifeMatters, in 2009, it was one of the very first things I wrote about.
So it’s possible, after all, that Bruce Jenner waited all these years because – simply put – he realized that now was the right time to do it. Which brings me to my next point about 60 being “too old.” Banish that thought! I wanted to scream out that day in the gym. I went back to school when I was in midlife and I also ran my first half-marathon at 60. I don’t think I’m so special or an aberration, either: there are people in midlife all over the place who are stepping out and starting new and important chapters in their lives. With great accomplishment, I might add.
While Jenner admitted that his feelings dated back more than 50 years to when he was eight or nine and shamefully tried on his sister’s clothes, carefully putting them back exactly where they hung in her closet so he wouldn’t be found out, can you imagine coming to real terms with his confused feelings, or even coming close to understanding them, in that era? He, like that entire generation, was caught up in the shame of being different and swept up by the urgent need to conform and belong. And he played that game to its extreme by becoming a idealized physical symbol of a male: athletic, muscular, strong and bold.
To me, Jenner is taking the precious years he has left and giving himself – and many other transgender people – a precious gift: to live a life in which they are comfortable and secure in who they are. Finally.
Crisis? I think not. I think any “crisis” Jenner might have been experiencing is a thing of the past. That male/female battle is no longer so tightly locked.
I’m glad that he is striving to live his life in a way that matches his soul, as he put it in the interview. My only real concern, relating to age, is for the surgeries that may be ahead. I worry that the risks may be higher. And, in taking this big step, I would want doctors to pay attention to happy AND healthy in their advice.
In 50 years hopefully this will be no big deal anymore. I think he is amazing for coming forward, but it seems like he didn’t have much of a choice if he wanted to live his authentic life without being hounded by press (which he still will be but at least it won’t be a scoop at that point).
I think you should patent the phrase “Midlife Opportunity”. That struck a nerve with me. I like it…Great writing!
Agree – that’s a terrific way of putting it.
Referring to what Jenner is going through as a mid-life crisis so insultingly trivializes it. Making a gender change is a huge and potentially painful (surgery, drug side effects) life altering process. It takes courage. A midlife crisis is buying a sports car you can’t afford!
I tried to talk to a friend about this recently. She kept asking why he’d just decided he was gay — and I kept telling her this was about his identifying as a woman. Don’t think I got through, though. Oh, well. We’ve still come a long, long way, baby.
Great post! He is one brave guy!
I just watched the first part of the interview last night and just felt so humbled and proud of him for taking this step and letting people know what’s been in his heart his whole life. I hope he’s right and that it does help change the world and how the world approaches gender identity issues. .