I always thought I did. I was fond of saying things like:
- I need a change
- Life’s more fun when you have new things happening all the time
- Things get so boring when they remain stagnant
And I happen to think that over the years, I’ve embraced typical so-called changes pretty well.
The empty nest? An opportunity for me and my husband to catch up with one another; as well as a natural progression for our sons.
Losing a parent? None of us escapes death, and my father lived a good, long life.
Menopause? After losing two dear friends who never made it that far, I’m lucky to be here to feel those hot flashes and mood swings. Bring it on.
Moving?
(Photos.com)
(Are you ready for this?)
If you’ve been following my posts, you might be surprised. After all, so many of you have responded with positive comments – “Good for you for being a glass-half-full-kinda-gal!” – and lauding me as a role model – “I’m going to be watching your progress as I contemplate downsizing,”
I’m having a tough time. It caught me by surprise after the moving-honeymoon is winding to an end, with the last of our cartons being emptied.
(The other night, I had a dream that I was in back in high school. It was the first day of classes and I was lost. I didn’t have my schedule and I couldn’t find my classrooms. Sheer panic.)
I’m missing my routine; “my” places, my route that I could drive practically blindfolded, every curve in the road etched into my memory.
I’m also missing things like:
- My gym.
- My grocery store.
- My bank, dry cleaners, drug store
- Even my mailman.
Maybe it’s that feeling of connectedness that is lacking. Or perhaps it’s lack of a routine (even though I rebel against having one, seeing myself instead as a laid-back version of my younger self).
But this much is true: By midlife, we do become comfortable with… comforts. Comfortable with knowing where we’re heading, how we’ll get there, and what will be there when we arrive.
Don’t get me wrong. Moving is great. It shakes up your comfort systems, forces you to do things like remember lots and lots of details and new names, helps you purge and get rid of all that unnecessary “stuff” that’s accumulated over the years. All of the stuff that you don’t know whether to keep, take to a charity shop, or simply throw out and hire somewhere like this Cheap rubbish removals Melbourne company who can come and collect it for you, so you don’t have the hassle of finding a way to remove it. It seems like the best option when you just have so much stuff like we do. (I’ve never come so close to considering myself a hoarder…). But I just can’t imagine up and moving to somewhere like these new construction homes in Coquitlam even though they are amazing. Because the thing is I’m comfortable where I am, even though moving far away might actually be really good for me. But that’s a step I can leave for later, for now I’m just taking slightly smaller steps when it comes to moving.
Plus, I have been able to share lots of moving tips with my best friend. She has recently moved to LA to kickstart her career after discovering an amazing property on the website for a real estate agent specializing in Redondo Beach. There are some absolutely fabulous homes in LA and the real estate industry there is currently booming so I do not blame her at all for wanting a fresh start.
I have already started to make plans to visit her property in Los Angeles once my own move is over and done with.
Moving is still somewhat bittersweet though.
Even packing up all of my furniture and belongings seems like an impossible task at this point.
That being said, I know that there are some amazing companies out there similar to the moving experts at Nycmoverspackers.com/ that can take care of the hard work for you.
Nonetheless, when moving, I think I expected to plunge right in and never look back.
There is a bit of routine in me, after all.
And maybe by the time that last carton is unpacked, I’ll know my way around the neighborhood. Not blindfolded, but maybe with one eye open/closed.
(Photos.com)
Psst…If you missed my post about the entire moving process and what it was really like, you can read it here.
How do you feel about change? What are some ways you’ve dealt with it – good or bad?
ruth pennebaker says
I’m the champion at looking back — have always identified with Lot’s wife. I even miss the car we just traded in. And, do you have dreams of your old house, or am I the only house-dreamer around?
SherylK says
Well, Ruth, no dreams – yet. But I guarantee they’ll be entertaining me one night, soon. Sorry you’re missing your car! That made me laugh.
Walker Thornton says
I think I handle change fairly well. I uprooted my life in 1999 for an ailing husband I knew I didn’t love… leaving my friends and support network. I did it, but I could have done a better job of getting immersed in this new town. But, no looking back.
Change can be a wonderful thing as you’ve pointed out… I’m watching your process as I think the next 3-5 years will bring a downsizing for me.
SherylK says
Walker, what a beautiful thing for you to have done. That had to be so difficult. I’d say you have mastered change!
Nancy Monson says
I have always tried to push for change despite my fears, but I always panic during the process. I am hopefully getting better at this as I age.
Feel the fear and do it anyway!
SherylK says
Yes, Nancy, I push through my fears as much as I’m capable of, too. But sometimes it gets a bit…challenging, you know?
Carol Cassara says
I love change and get bored if I sit in one place too long. At the same time, I miss the old stuff and always wish I could have all of it in one place. Time travel is the only answer.
SherylK says
Time travel…hmmm. When do we leave??
Cathy Chester says
I always think I want a change, I want to travel, I want to attend more openings/previews/parties, I want to move out-of-state!
But I’m also too sentimental for my own good. When we do sell our house and are ready to move, I will kiss every flower, every tree, every piece of wood, every doorway. We built our house when I was pregnant and looking forward to the life we’d build here. Now that chapter drawing closer to the we-need-to-downsize phase.
In Yiddish I’d say, “I’m plotzing!”
You are not alone, Sheryl, but I’m proud you did it. I am here for moral support. But don’t forget you’ll owe me one!
Wonderful post.
SherylK says
I can see how your house holds so many special feelings for you, Cathy. If you haven’t done so already, take lots of pictures! Those will never fail to cheer you. Try not to plotz too hard 🙂
Kathy @ SMART Living 365.com says
I think it is very natural to miss some of our routines when we make changes–even VERY good changes. I used to drink a can of soda every single day until I eventually realized all that sugar wasn’t good for my body or my weight–I stopped drinking them but that doesn’t mean I don’t “miss” them now and then. Our comfortable routines are there because they are comfortable–but we might never know a new or better way if we are willing to let go of the old and start looking around for the new or possible. Hopefully your move contains so many wonderful benefits that our old lifestyle just couldn’t provide….so before long you’ll wonder what too you so long 🙂 ~Kathy
Alexandra says
What I find the most difficult is leaving friends behind. But then when I moved, it was across the ocean from Europe.
Jane Boursaw says
I don’t think I embrace change very well. I tend to look back a lot. And many – I would say most of — my dreams take place in my old room at my parents’ house. I don’t know what that means. Probably that I look back a lot.
Vera Marie Badertscher says
In general I love change. We have moved 8 times since we were married (the longest from Ohio to Arizona), but the last one was really difficult, because I wasnt moving “up”. I was downsizing. And no matter how practical, and how I tried to throw myself into redecorating, I still hate it after ten years. Sometimes it just isn’t the RIGHT change. Unfortunately, I think the changes of aging all seem to entail giving something up.
Kris says
We’ve moved 6 times in the past 7 years – three times across the Pacific. That after having lived in the same county for a quarter of a century, the same state for nearly 40 years. I think I’m learning to roll with it!
There’s absolutely an adjustment period, though. I hope you start feeling at home soon!
merr says
I totally relate. I have found the most bittersweet part of moving is the time when one place is left behind, the other not quite feeling like home yet.
Irene S. Levine says
I think we need time to accommodate to change. I better you are back in the saddle in your new place by now:-)