There are two different schools of thought regarding so-called aging.
Those who say they hate it… they’re also fond of saying things like:
Aging is not for sissies
Aging out-and-out sucks
Aging is tough
Aging is a @^*!% struggle.
And then there are those who:
- Embrace Aging
- Celebrate Aging
- Recite a prayer of thanks each morning they wake up
- Show off Aging
- Say Aging beats the alternative
Me? I fall somewhere in between. I can’t actually decide. One day I embrace it…then, poof! It hits me right in the gut. Sometimes, I can get a bit grumpy about it. My knee aches (is that osteoarthritis or a sports injury?) My roots are coming in (I hate taking hours to get my hair colored, but don’t have the complexion to rock gray). And that kid…he/she called me “Ma’am” again (I prefer anything but).
It figures. I’m a Libra, after all, whose sign is THE SCALES. We Libran’s strive to have everything on an even keel; everything balanced. I see the good and the bad in all of it. That comes in handy when it comes to things like diplomacy, differing points of view, tact and settling arguments (actually, I shrink from arguments at all costs).
So instead of trying to figure out just where exactly my scale is unbalanced (that’s like trying to achieve world peace) – because if there’s one thing I can guarantee it’s that I will always tip farther to one side than the other – I’ve come up with my list of things that many of us can say goodbye to/good riddance to with age. If that can’t help me figure out just how I feel about aging, I don’t think all the arguments in the world can.
(photos.com)
Good Riddance to…PMS – It’s nice to lose the monthly zits-the-size-of-a-crater, the mood swings, the insatiable chocolate cravings. The days of consulting the calendar to predict the days that will be wallop me by a giant wave of depression, paranoia or anger are gone (except for the days that depression, paranoia or anger are strictly warranted). As an influencer, I am still sent products to try that I no longer need now I’m that little bit older, for example, how typical that I have been sent some gorgeous face wash from one of my favourite brands (see more at reneerouleau.com) recently, just as my skin has finally cleared up.
Say Goodbye to…Dogs – Who wants the responsibility now that the kids don’t need you anymore? Without a dog we can finally be truly free. As we age, so do our dogs (unless, of course, we keep replenishing our supply of them, unlike what we can do with babies) – and eventually we tire of the whole thing. On the other hand, no longer owning a pet makes you unable to have a ready excuse for leaving a party early, or having someone (other than yourself) to talk to when you’re alone in the house, or acting like a kid and entertaining the dog by chasing it around the table.
Good Riddance to…Babies – Speaking of pets, it’s just unrealistic to own one of these, too, after a certain age (unless you’re a grandmother. But that comes with its perks; mainly, it entitles you to give it back). Nature has done us a favor, believe me. Not having any more babies definitely means not having to deal with a huge weight gain, having more freedom and maybe even more money and definitely more sanity (although what they say about big kids/big problems is gospel, especially in today’s social and economic climate) – and more time to sleep.
Say Goodbye to…Sleep – Ignore what I wrote above. You think just because there are no more babies in the house that you can really sleep through the night? Aging makes sleep seem like that golden ring – within reach yet oh so tough to grasp. C’mon, tell me when was the last time YOU slept through the night? Sleep is restorative, sure. But it’s also elusive. Still.
Good Riddance to…Teenage Self-Consciousness – Remember that? I do. I was taller than most everyone else, and as a result, I slumped. And brought my shoes to the local shoemaker so he could cut down the heels. Now I wear big heels and stand tall. And, I was always afraid to speak my mind, afraid that people wouldn’t like me. Now I say it’s their loss. Wow, it feels good to feel good about yourself and not much care about what everyone else might think. Except for those times when someone gives you the cold shoulder and you wonder what you did to offend them. Or when your husband tells you can be intimidating to others because of your height – and you’re not so sure if those heels are a such a good idea after all.
Say Goodbye to…Oily Skin – My skin used to be so oily that someone standing opposite me could just about see their own reflection in my forehead. By the end of the day, my face resembled white patent leather shoes. Oily skin is good, people assured me. You’ll have less wrinkles when you’re older. And now? Menopause has stripped my skin of all its oil and I’m left with nothing but a rough surface resembling an over-sized emery board.
Ah, age. You can’t win. It’s tough, sometimes, to let go to things you hold so dear, even though your older brain yells at you to downsize and free yourself of burdens.
Do I want all the struggles of youth back? Or am I happy shedding myself of them?
If you have any tips for balancing a scale, I’ll take them.
Julie Phelps says
Oh my, you struck several notes with me.
I mostly embrace the various aspects of being this awfully old sounding age of 66. Most days I enjoy feeling much younger than the years would indicate. – Not today though – my knee is painfully protesting a few moves I used to do without anything swelling or requiring ice packs and elevation.
Regardless, I have a feeling of anticipation and adventure and enthusiasm for life that generally eluded me in all my younger years.
I feel a freedom of spirit and sense of self that was never before possible.
Being called m’am suddenly strikes me as being respectful, so I quit being annoyed when addressed that way.
Taking advantage of senior discounts is starting to feel pretty good too.
Best of all is being able to speak of what I think and feel. I do it without being mean, or disrespectful, but I state what I feel is right for me. I never learned to do that until recently. I attribute that to being a Boomer who finally grew up – to some degree, at least. I am enjoying all the new-found benefits of life as it now is.
Irene S. Levine says
I guess we need to embrace it because we can’t change it:-)
My least favorite aphorism on aging: It’s better than the alternative!
Thanks for bringing some humor and light to my day~
SherylK says
Yes, Irene, I can’t stand that aphorism either. And we can’t change aging, so we might as well make the best of it…another aphorism but a truism, too!
Helene Cohen Bludman says
I also go back and forth, either embracing or bemoaning midlife. If it weren’t for all those damn body changes … also had the oily skin problem as an adolescent but it may have helped prevent some wrinkles? Who knows.
SherylK says
Well, Helene, having met you I can vouch for your oily skin keeping your wrinkles at bay. You have lovely skin.
lee aldrich says
Great piece. From one Libra to another…totally get it. If it weren’t for gravity being so mean, and having to wait for my ass (since it’s in another county), aging wouldn’t be so bad!
Alexandra says
Babies … remember, one of the perks of aging is grandchildren. They are such a new and amazing experience at a point in our lives when we thought we had seen it all.
SherylK says
Oh, yes, Alexandra. I’m with you. I can’t WAIT to be a grandma…but didn’t want to write that lest my boys read it and feel embarrassed or pressured 🙂
Rob K. says
Say Hello To: Empty nest sex. The best since…well…dating. No worries about someone walking in on you or interrupting the bedroom. And who says the bedroom is the only place? No pregnancy worry either. Yeah, sometimes my back hurts afterwards, but a small price to pay! Doesn’t totally balance that scale, but it helps.
Another “Pro” to aging: Choosing to not spend time with people you really don’t like, but ‘had to’ for one reason or another at some point. Time’s our most precious commodity.
SherylK says
Rob, So nice to see your comment pop up. You win the award for being the token male commenter! I say a big amen to both of your points.
merr says
Not ready to say goodbye to pets, that’s for sure! Thanks for sharing your list, Sheryl.
SherylK says
I’m really not either, Merr. But having just lost my dog of 15-plus years, I’m still questioning if I can go through all that heartbreak again. I am the world’s biggest dog lover.
HeatherL says
Yes, I had a hard time with saying goodbye to pets, too. And my dogs are also aging rapidly. Even so, they still supply great comfort.
SherylK says
I’m missing having a dog so so badly…yet so torn about starting all over with one.
Jane Boursaw says
Oh I love this. There really IS a lot to be thankful for with aging! I still have the oily skin, darnit. And zits. Maybe they’ll go away eventually.
An awesome 70-something friend in yoga keeps saying to “fight aging with everything you’ve got – fight it tooth and nail.” She might be onto something because she’s amazingly fit.
Lynne Miller says
Hi Sheryl. Your blog looks great. I thoroughly enjoyed this post on aging. Personally I am accepting aging as inevitable. One thing that bothers me is having to think more about food and discipline myself when it comes to food. I weigh more than I’d like to, but dieting has never been my thing, so I’m trying to curb my appetite without making it the central focus of my life. I’ve been a thin person most of my life and a food “libertarian.” But now that I am a woman “of a certain age,” I can’t just eat whatever strikes my fancy. So sad!
I will read your blog again. You’re such a good writer!
Lynne
elle salazar says
Time may control your appearance, age, priorities but the echo humanity has made and our feelings, empathy, and thoughts will echo through the course of time.